Back at home

I made it home safe and sound. My Mum, brother, aunty and cousin came to pick me up by car so we spent quite a lot of time together on the way back. It took us about 12 and a half hours to get to my aunty's house and then we left yesterday to head up North.

Already I'm trying to get into the swing of things without them overwhelming me. It took me a few months to get used to the slower pace of life in France but here, I feel here everything is always on the go and there's so much more stress. I'm trying my best just to keep a calmer attitude so that things run more smoothly but I feel a sense of urgency all the time, a sense of impatience. I'm already feeling mentally exhausted trying to understand and manage it all while keeping my sanity and own sense of judgement. What I mean by that is that if you 'go with the flow' without ever evaluating your own part in the big picture, you may accidentally forget that you're accountable for each act and intention. I guess it's the whole idea of actively living and not living passively- but living actively without going insane. In some ways it's about being disciplined amongst all the chaos.

At the same time, meeting family again- cousins, aunties, siblings and parents- is quite interesting. I feel like I'm looking onto the dynamics between people in a slightly different way, obviously since I'm comparing it to other dynamics I've been exposed to. Relationships are rather quite complex things sometimes. A fine balance of understanding and giving back.

Obviously it's raining here and it's forecast to rain for about a week. Thankfully it's not bitterly cold. However, while trying to clear my wardrobe out to fit all my clothes in (I've managed to fill 4 black bags) I find that part of the reason I don't have enough space is because of the winter we have, and then the nicer weather. Cardigans and sweaters take up a lot of space! I have clothes for the extreme cold, warm days, hot days, weddings and parties, painting... and the fact that I just have too many clothes.

I will continue my blog while at home because I'm still learning and discovering so much and I'll be looking at the culture here in a different way too.