The Secret of Shakespeare (1996)

I finished reading Martin Lings' The Secret of Shakespeare: His Greatest Plays Seen in the Light of Sacred Art this afternoon. I thought I'd better blog about it as soon as I can otherwise a month will pass by and I'll still not have gotten round to it. It has been a refreshing read, as Lings often is. I'll list the plays discussed in the text and then give you a brief idea what the book covers, without any spoilers (hopefully). I read the third edition of the book, which has been revised and enlarged, with a foreword by H.R.H. The Prince of Wales published by Quinta Essentia in 1996.

After the foreword and the preface, the book begins with an explanation of sacred art and then moves onto Shakespeare's outlook. From this point onwards Lings focuses on a series of plays individually which are generally in chronological order. The plays are as follows: Henry IV, Hamlet, Othello, Measure for Measure, Macbeth, King Lear, Anthony and Cleopatra, Cymbeline, The Winter's Tale and The Tempest. The final two chapters are 'Notes on Performance and Production' and 'The Secret'. He focuses on the plays of Shakespeare's maturity, and thus the later plays in his writing career, making brief references to earlier works.

Firstly I'd like to comment on Lings' style. His writing is so concise and precise yet so eloquent that it is always a pleasure to read, and sometimes requires rereading so that you can capture the depth of what he has just described. I felt this especially when reading his book Symbol and Archetype and this eloquence has come through here too. I often find myself rereading sentences not always for meaning but because they have been so beautifully constructed. This enhances the reading experience hundredfold and I find I am sat before a wise man who is trying to open our hearts up to fulfil our potential. There is something refreshing and revitalising in his words that not many academic works can offer.

Lings discusses the role and value of spirituality in art and how this is part of what makes it timeless. This is why we keep coming back to certain great works of art, like Shakespeare. He beautifully explains the levels of interpretation and meaning to make sense of the works on various planes. Some of the symbolism Lings clarifies for modern readers is that of marriage, suicide and revenge. He describes how Shakespeare artfully represents suicide and revenge, utterly unchristian acts, in a way that the audience recognise the nobility of the acts in his plays and even sanction them. In bringing the sacred interpretation into light Lings consistently explains the journey of the soul through purgatory and towards heaven. He also distinguishes between alchemy and mysticism, of which there are elements in the plays.

Plays are written to be performed and not only read, and thus Lings considers the implications of producing these plays to a modern audience and to what extent directors ought to deviate from Shakespeare's own productions and why. The risk of an incomplete interpretation of the play could result in a poor production and thus take away from some of the depth intended. He also recognises that the modern audience does not have the same worldview as the audience of Shakespeare's time, which not only affects their interpretation and understanding of the play, but poses a challenge for directors who then have new expectations and pressures on them. Lings' advice is sincere and aims to maintain authenticity so that one can enjoy the intended magic of the original plays without obscure and inaccurate adaptations to cater to superficial tastes.

I haven't elaborated on the finer details and content of the text because I would not be able to do the great author justice; he has crafted his book in a way that I would not want to meddle with because I would be guilty distortion at worst and clumsiness at best. Many of the plays discussed in the book I have previously read or studied through my academic career. However, the few that I hadn't read meant that it was more difficult to follow the analysis and interpretation because, quite simply, I didn't know the story. For this reason, I would suggest you read the plays before reading this interpretation, but read this book before jumping to wild conclusions in order to avoid misunderstanding a significant poetical device. I'm glad I've had Lings' insight into Shakespeare's plays because I had been unable to appreciate Shakespeare very much through a less convincing approach to his work, rendering it somewhat unimportant and now I can re-read the plays with a renewed interest. I would say it has allowed me to take a fresh look at Shakespeare's works.

Mrs Dalloway (1925/ 2000)

I've been meaning to post about Mrs Dalloway for a while but my internet connection wasn't co-operating and then life happened. I've finally sat down to catch up on some bits and bobs, and this is one of them.

The edition that I read this time was the Oxford World Classics Kindle edition, published in 2000 by the Oxford University Press. I would highly recommend this edition because of the essays that come before the novel are insightful and supplement the reading of the text. The explanatory notes are also useful though somewhat distracting sometimes, as they largely map out the locations in London. I have previously read Mrs Dalloway before, about three years ago, and so already had an idea of the general style and content. The essays were helpful in that they picked out relevant details and elaborated on their relevance individually (according to the perspective chosen by the essay writer), where in the novel themselves there are so many elements coming together at once that it can seem somewhat overwhelming. I'll list some of the main themes in the novel and elaborate on a few of them, then make a few remarks on the style before giving a few of my final thoughts.

The colonialism of India is a recurrent part of the novel and reflects a facet to British life and identity. It is somewhat an extension of Britain, as the colonisers based in India are considered 'Indians', almost replacing the native people's existence and reducing them to 'coolies' and workers. Racism is thus an underlying sub-theme where there is a notion of white superiority and the inferiority of other ethnicities. Mrs Bruton's idea of sending British citizens to Canada to spread the colony further and protect the white race and high blood underlines the sense of superiority amongst the white British population, especially in upper class circles. This presumed superiority of the white race, especially of a certain class and education with a particular emphasis on their physicality, introduces a theme of eugenics, which is also discussed in one of the preceding essays.

Typical of the British class system, there is a considerable social structure at play in the novel highlighting the dynamics between social classes and the nature of a hierarchical society. This is then developed further into the question of social appearances and social expectations. This is most clearly demonstrated through the characters of Mrs Kilman and Ellie Henderson although these are not the only significant instances of social class, as we also notice this within the medical profession and from the people in the parks and streets.

Septimus, Clarissa Dalloway's counterpart, is most obviously a patient with a case of, what we call today, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a form of mental illness. The insight into his view and experience of the world not only provides another reality but also brings into question how we define sanity and insanity. The treatment and taboos of mental illness are put in contrast to the doctors' behaviour and respected statuses despite questionable diagnoses. This brings the medical practice under scrutiny as the doctors appear more deluded than the patient himself, while he is no doubt suffering. Clarissa Dalloway is also a patient of a weak disposition, indicating some sort of mental anxiety. Although it is not quite clear what she suffers from, she is concerned with how she is perceived in society even if in her home she is treated like an invalid in some ways (i.e. isolated bed in the attic).

Unrequited love is a theme that we're constantly reminded of through the character of Peter Walsh. His life appears to be defined by it yet he actively lives in a fashion that wants to escape it; however it is imprinted into his heart and memory so that he never really is free from his first love. Peter Walsh isn't the only one to love in the novel, as Richard Dalloway feels he loves Clarissa, his wife, too despite not being able to say it in so many words. Woolf expands the theme of romantic love to same-sex love and passion to include the relationship between Sally Seton and Clarissa Dalloway. Woolf appears to be exploring the nature of love and desire in relation to social constraints and limitations, as Clarissa also chooses to marry Richard for social stability and status over a less 'reasoned' match.

Politics is a running theme throughout the novel, as Richard is a member of the Conservative party. Woolf puts the Conservative ideals and politics in opposition to more liberal values through characters like Peter Walsh and Sally Seton. She questions the Conservative values through these characters who challenge them in their own ways, but also subscribe to them in many ways themselves, such as Sally settling down with a fairly wealthy man and having five of his children. There seems to be a search for political alternatives and yet a satisfaction with the calm after the first world war.

The country in opposition to city life make us think about authenticity and superficiality, as the natural environment largely seems to bring out more sincere dimensions of the protagonists' character, such as in Sally and Richard who seem to be their authentic selves in Burton. The city appears to force the protagonists to assume an artificiality in order to survive and meet social expectations.

Woolf explores the notion of what it means to be alive or living, for often Clarissa seems to be living a somewhat void life, filled with occasional superficial, orchestrated parties. This existential question is not only linked to the consciousness but also to the soul, and thus the sound of religion is in the background and even comes to the foreground through the character of Ms Kilman, who is hardly described favourably in terms of her character and her attachment to the church. The novel also brings up notions of atheism, as it is a period of questioning and criticism of faith and values and not believing is increasingly common.

The importance of science is often referred to in an ironic tone. This is interesting because as doubts increased in Britain in relation to faith, there was a rise in confidence directed towards science and technology. Science almost became the new religion, the new way of understanding the world.

The discussion concerning education and careers for women in society indicates a turning point in history. The role of women is explored by comparing Sally and Clarissa's aspirations, as well as those of Ms Kilman, to the more promising future of Elizabeth, Clarissa's daughter. While the former three had many dreams, they were not necessarily socially acceptable and were more likely to be practically unfeasible. Ms Kilman insists that this is no longer the case for Elizabeth and she can afford to spread out her wings and explore and dream further, and even realise her dreams. There is quite clearly a strong sense of disappointment in the novel, where the reader hopes for a different type of life for Sally Seton to that which she eventually has. While we accept the matter as fair, it feels as if there has been a lot of potential stifled under the female role of wife and mother.

In terms of style and form, Woolf doesn't divide this novel into chapters, rather it is one long piece, a piece that develops its own fluidity and is thoroughly intertwined. The reader will switch from the thoughts of one character to another quite rapidly and Woolf does this in an almost seamless fashion where we can simply "hear" what people are thinking. She uses both free indirect speech and stream of consciousness, which contribute to her style of capturing the mind as well as forming the fluidity of time. Woolf attempts to capture an authentic experience of the human mind by conveying repeated thoughts as well as the memories these may evoke or otherwise unrelated (if that is possible) thoughts of the past combined with various criticisms and judgements of other people and the self. This impressively conveys the subjectivity of judgement and understanding because oftentimes there are scenes in which we will read the thoughts of more than one character, with differing experiences and perspectives.

To bring this rather long post to a close, I would just like to add that Virginia Woolf's experimental style is initially quite strange for readers seeking a certain plot and series of events. However, once we understand that Woolf isn't exploring events but rather experiences of consciousness, we can appreciate her style much more and thus delve into the minds of her characters and of ourselves. The themes are of course relevant in as much as they constitute the material for our human experiences and build our identities but how we engage with these external factors is fascinating in itself.

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (1916)

I've finally been pushed to read some Joyce as it's in my academic curriculum this semester. I've always hesitated reading his work because a teacher once told me how most people just never finish Ulysses because it's such a difficult read, and so I always looked at James Joyce as "that Irish author that's difficult to read" and I probably shouldn't touch his work. I've read The Dead to complement my reading of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (A Portrait) and to give me a broader exposure to Joyce's style and work. I just finished A Portrait today and thought I'd share some initial thoughts and feelings and speak a bit more on the thematic elements but no doubt touch upon the stylistic approach.

The novel is a story about a young boy, Stephen, who is sent to a Catholic boarding school, documenting his journey into maturity and development into a young man. I believe that the story was based on Joyce's own childhood, yet to what degree he digresses from authentic events, I'm not quite sure. I found the story in itself fascinating, following Stephen's journey of adolescence with elements from his family life, relationship with his peers, spirituality and his academic interests. I was particularly touched by a scene at the beginning of the novel where Stephen was still a young boy getting used to the schooling system,to the extent that it moved me to tears. Joyce captures the innocence of a child so well, and his bewilderment at the changes around him as well as the the conflicts of the adults around him.

In terms of spirituality, we see that Stephen is gradually disillusioned by the Church and while he doesn't necessarily go as far as to attack the Church, he recognises that there are many elements that don't sit well with him and that he ultimately cannot identify with them. The role of confession in the Catholic church is significant, as it is a ritual that is not performed in all dominations nor in many major religions. The insight and emphasis given to this rite is valuable in that it gives outsiders a glimpse into that world but more importantly it plays a part in Stephen's spiritual battle and his view of the clergy. It creates a mysterious air of what is hidden and what is exposed in confession but also in the human and it underlines how not everything is always what it seems in terms of human character and expectations.

The style of the novel changes throughout in order to reflect the protagonist's own development and maturity, with the language and form becoming more complex. The literary development also reflects Stephen's academic progress and his broader reading and intellectual ventures. Arguably, Joyce uses more complex language as Stephen is gradually liberated from the social constraints set upon him and develops his independence and own thoughts. While this is quite a clever instrument, it presents the reader with a problem of having to readjust him or herself to then follow the novel in its new form. It's almost as if the style and narrative voice will change once you've just got used to the one you're reading. Joyce, therefore, brings up important cultural and social issues but adapting to his way of introducing characters and the layout of dialogue, for example, takes a certain degree of attention that, in more conventional forms, would come more naturally and easily. Also, it is often difficult to know where the story has come to and from what perspective we're reading, as Joyce tends to skip ahead by a year or so quite freely, without much warning and the scattered indications are what force us to recalculate where we've come, only to be sure much later on in the chapter where we finally receive some sort of confirmation.

To sum up some of my thoughts, I felt this wasn't a difficult book to read for its plot but rather it kept presenting me with the challenge of working out what was happening, where had Stephen come in his life and how much time had passed and what had happened in the meantime. The style forces the reader to participate a bit more in the text in order to understand it better and follow it and this is both refreshing and sometimes demanding. I generally found it a fairly pleasant novel to read, giving me something a little different and quite a lot of variety without seeming unending.

Lasting Prayers of the Quran & the Prophet Muhammad

I was sat at the back of my Dad's car, with a few of his books sprawled about next to me as per usual and naturally I just picked one up to flick through. He turned to me from the driver's seat (we hadn't set off yet) and told me to take it back home with me. I complied.

I began reading Lasting Prayers of the Quran & the Prophet Muhammad in Ramadan alongside another book as a "religious, Ramadan read". I knew I wanted to read a book when I wasn't reading Quran but wasting precious Ramadan minutes on a novel felt like a bad idea, and so I chose this as one of my main books. Unfortunately I stopped reading the book as Ramadan ended, and just completed it a few days ago.

Dr. Hammad surprised me with this fresh approach to an Islamic text. His work is clear, concise and easy to read without being patronising. This is not a text that is trying to convert but rather it explains a fundamental tenet of Islam. It explains the value of making du'a (supplicating) and its place in history, through Quranic examples, and in the life of the final Prophet (pbuh). Hammad describes the strength of prayer and how it is a vital core for the believer. This is while he gives brief yet precise insights into Islamic spirituality and belief. There is no shortage of examples of prayers, all in English, and the layout felt rather fun, despite the book itself feeling and appearing rather grand. Hammad shares small hadith or Quranic verses in the margins of the text, as extra gems to adorn your reading, however this sometimes diverts from the main text.

Each chapter of the book is well researched and while I have a few favourite ones I especially appreciated the chapter on 'Women of Prayer'. Despite the fact that prayer is gender neutral and the preceding chapters were equally applicable and relevant to me, the chapter on women underlines this as well as highlights some virtuous women in our history that also have a strong heart of prayer. Their valuable stories were not ignored and their steadfastness is what inspires both men and women alike.

A quick word on the physical format of the book because I feel it deserves a little mention. It is a hardback book with a deep purple fabric/ cloth cover with a gold and purple dust jacket. The main text is 287 pages while further notes, appendices and the bibliography take the total page count to 357. What I secretly enjoyed about this book, along with the actual content of course, were the thick, "lush", acid-free pages. This was a particular pleasure while reading because even after reading a short section it feels as if you've made great progress from where you left off (thanks to the ribbon bookmark) as the pages are thick and thus give you a visual illusion of having read a lot; I found this is really encouraging.

I learnt a few new things from reading the book and was reminded of many others but most importantly it inspired me to renew my intention and my attachment to prayer (or supplication). Often we are distracted, or distract ourselves, with all sorts of activities or forms of technology seeking some sort of fulfilment, which ultimately results in void. However taking those same short moments to turn to God, meditate and call out to Him may well be what we're missing or neglecting. I found the text to be refreshing and despite its depth and seriousness, a light read, meaning that I felt lighter and happier after each interaction with the text. I would recommend everyone interested in faith to read this book, whether you come from an Islamic background or not, whether you are Muslim or not, whether you're researching Islam or not. As long as you're interested in faith and spirituality, and would appreciate an insight into the Islamic world, this book is perfect. I know that I ought to re-read this book or even just certain chapters regularly to renew my faith and keep me inspired.


Book details:
Lasting Prayers of the Quran & the Prophet Muhammad, Dr. Ahmad Zaki Hammad, ISBN: 0-9650746-1-7

The Brothers Karamazov (1880)

I downloaded The Brothers Karamazov onto my Kindle because my sister recommended it since I had started reading some Russian literature. I didn't quite realise how renowned it was until I was well into it and various people seemed impressed I was reading an 'epic' novel. That naturally made me take it a little more seriously so that I could give a decent opinion on the text, especially since I know there will be immense works (articles, essays and journals) on it already. 

Dostoyevsky covers so many important themes in the novel with such tact and eloquence that it is a novel that genuinely and gently opens one to debate and reflection. If we look first at the theme of 'religion' in its broadest sense, we'll see how Dostoyevsky explores the role of the Russian Orthodox Church, the monastery, monks and the dynamics within the Church of newly introduced innovations. We see a community that is complex, searching and human, with references to corruption and virtue alike, rivalry and friendship, selfishness and selflessness. With the influences of European Enlightenment and theories questioning the existence of God, the Church is put in opposition to a secular belief system. Father Zossima is a character who embodies an intermediary between these worlds, since his being elected an elder is already an innovation from the orthodox Church and he doesn't quite dwell on the physical nature of Hell, contrary to essential Christian beliefs. He is also accused of not being wary enough of the devils, the spiritual demons, perhaps showing a lesser emphasis on the 'scary side' of spirituality, making him more likeable in the eyes of some, and discrediting him in the eyes of others. Dostoyevsky presents atheism and secularism to us in a fashion that doesn't offend, and doesn't attack; it doesn't completely negate the need or role of religion or spirituality but it attempts to make sense of the world and the human condition, human inclinations (base and uplifted) and tries to perceive the world differently. I'd say it was a rather agnostic novel, an honest criticism of the weaknesses in society, and encourages readers to take part in the discourse and examine themselves and their own relationship to the faith or lack of faith they adhere to.

In terms of women, Dostoyevsky portrays them in a rather peculiar fashion. There is no doubt about there being an enormous amount to be said and analysed of the women alone in this novel, since they appear to be so eccentric and in many ways stereotypical but hardly relatable. The only vaguely 'normal' women in the novel seem to be Marfa Ignatyevna, who has to submissively obey her husband Grigory despite her superior intelligence and Ilusha's sister, Varvara, who goes to university and is mentioned quite in passing. Besides these two peripheral ladies, the feminine image is one of hysterics, meddling, spite, and anger with some occasional submission. There is a sense of the women being 'out of control', even of themselves, as their reactions and motives are constantly fluctuating. They are the oxymoron of being somewhat calculating and impulsive at once. Alongside the characterisation, there is a general trend of misogyny from the beginning, which is not necessarily portrayed in a positive light, but is rather quite blatant and matter of fact. The beating of women is mentioned as a cultural norm, though Fyodor Pavolvich also receives some heavy-handed smacks from his first wife. Dostoyevsky does talk about the emancipation of women a few times in the novel, which it would be interesting to read more about, as there is obviously a link between the political powers and rights of women and the characterisation of the ladies in the novel. Generally, however I feel these women are not supposed to be trusted. 

Social class is another main component of the novel, where the core protagonists come from a wealthy (or at least upper class) background. Yet, Dimitri finds himself begging for money and has a reputation of squandering away his wealth recklessly. There is consistently a distinction between the poverty of the rich and that of the peasants for those with status maintain power over those without. Madame Hohlakov and Katerina Ivanovna financially aid the downtrodden Snegiryov family which allows them small comforts and eases their difficulties significantly. These gestures are described both as overtly and detailed to describe the dynamic between the ease of giving for the rich and the desire to accept yet the sense of dignity and self-respect of the lower class which creates a hindrance. Another time the gesture is described as a rather natural act of generosity and care, something that shows the relationship that ought to exist between those who have means, and those who have fewer means. Grushenka also regularly donates money to help those in need, from her cousin to the Poles, despite having been described as stingy and miserly. Father Zossima notes the piety and faith in the hearts of the peasants, underlining the importance they play in the future of the nation and the importance of instilling Christian values in their hearts, for they are intelligent, though simple and ought to be welcomed into the fold of faith and given an education concerning essential Christian values, albeit through stories. Even the young boy Nikolay Krassotkin is aware of intelligent peasants and tries to identify them and engage with them. The end of serfdom is noted as a remarkable turning point in Russian history and this transition has various effects on the social hierarchy, despite it being difficult for some peasants to abandon their roles, such as Grigory, and of course an inconvenience for the aristocracy. Dostoyevsky addresses the issues of social prejudice and attempts to give greater credit to and 'humanise' the peasant experience.  

The question of justice and morality is eventually tied in with the criminal justice system. While the concept of no God and thus no divine laws or sense of morality makes everything lawful we see that this leads to rather disastrous consequences, or at least has the potential to, as 'everything is relative' and so it leads to chaos. With the absence of absolute truth and absolute laws alongside relative laws, for life and humans come with many nuances, begins the search for another balance, another understanding and another way to make sense of the world. Notions of guilt and innocence and punishment, reformation and salvation are all put into question, as Dostoyevsky explores the search for a new social system to liberate people from Christian laws but which nonetheless maintain order. 

The use of psychology in the court case criticises the developing (pseudo)science in a fashion that displays its strengths and as well as its weaknesses. Many aspects of psychology may be considered subjective or lacking enough research behind them to amount to large generalisations. Ultimately both edges of the "sword" turn out to be fascinating and revealing. The insight is convincing though dangerous if used to base the entire case upon. 

I found that The Brothers Karamazov was not as dark and grim as, for example, Crime and Punishment; there is more of a balance of light and dark, hope and despair. We are currently living in a period that is experiencing the consequences of the ideas explored in this novel. In many ways the fact that many have accepted worldview that everything is lawful, while keeping up appearances of being law-abiding, we find ourselves living in a time of constant rebellion and much destruction. Many questions raised in the novel haven't necessarily been resolved and so we find ourselves identifying with the issues, which are so gently and delicately explored, as opposed to the aggressive and somewhat militant approaches of our contemporary age.  

A Tale of Two Cities (1859)

This afternoon I realised that despite having read A Tale of Two Cities in July, I hadn't posted about it. I'll share a few of my thoughts from what I scribbled down and what I remember because it does feel like such a long time ago.

This is one of Dickens' shorter works, which is one of the reasons I chose to read it; I wanted to add another Dickens novel to my rather short "read" list and the quicker, the better. The famous introduction makes for a rather vague beginning but a chapter or two later we are taken into a more "story-like" narrative. No doubt the oppositions in the introduction are continued through into the novel which generate many themes and features in the novel, some of which I'll explain in more detail individually.

There is no shortage of twins and look-alikes in the novel, which often construct oppositions in character, create a good-versus-evil dichotomy or simply to show 'what could have been' if the circumstances of one character had been different. A few examples include Carton resembling Darnay, Madame Defarge and Miss Pross who are not identical but rather put in opposition to each other, so that Mme Defarge eventually 'meets her match' and Lucie who gives birth to 'Little Lucie', while she is already the souvenir of her own mother, having inherited her blonde hair. The latter example and that of Cruncher (Jerry), whose son is his smaller and younger duplicate, remind us how similar people continue to exist through generations- being so exposed to certain traits and then the part of inheritance, it's no surprise. We also have the two Marquis, the aristocratic twin brothers who are both evil.

While one may argue that many of Dickens' protagonists are too simplified, being only good or only evil, this isn't necessarily wholly a bad thing because he successfully uses these characters to personify extreme vices or extreme virtues and these are only overlapped sparingly in a character. There is a clear distinction of what is good and bad in a person (even if it does sometimes feel somewhat too idealistic and narrow in its scope). Dickens details how the two Marquis are vile and how the aristocracy is corrupt and shallow. Also, Mme Defarge, though not of the upper classes, is calculating and sly. These evil characters are put in direct opposition to another host of characters, such as Lucie, who is the ultimate version of a perfect woman, beautiful, delicate, well-educated, never imposing and is able to react to each situation in the most perfect fashion. Mr Lorry is someone who is perfectly helpful at all times, despite his age; he is experienced, honest and simply wants to do his job quietly and keep the peace. Dr. Manette is consistently respected and respectable, being a character of dignity, with whom the reader sympathises. Any characters with more duality eventually lean closer to either vice or virtue based on their relationship with the nobler characters.

The opposition of youth and old age does not only come through the protagonists' descendants but also through Tellson's Bank, with the London branch being deeply rooted in tradition and being especially aged, dark and closed. In Paris, however, the Bank is youthful, fresh, artistic and open (not during the riots of course). In the end these oppositions come to show us the fluidity between the two, of good and evil, youth and age, justice and injustice. Despite the constant divisions we are exposed to the risks and the difficulties in having a worldview that is too black and white, that doesn't accept nuances, individuals and details.

I personally found this novel had an interesting and captivating engagement with the French Revolution. While it is something I have studied at university and it has cropped up several times in my life in passing, it never marked me in the same way Dickens managed to get me to think about it. He brought out the human side, the small details as well as the bigger picture, the values and the struggles. It is, of course, orchestrated with characters that do sometimes take the reality out of it, but nonetheless I found myself caring and being disgusted, feeling worried, relieved and even crying in the end. There was a constant desire for a happy ending and Dickens managed to fill my heart with enough hope and anxiety to make the ending particularly touching. I'm definitely glad I read this one as it felt so relevant, was equally enjoyable.

A Letter to the Sea (and Ocean)

Dear Sea,

I apologise.
I apologise for not coming to admire you often.
I apologise for my brief glances.
I apologise for looking down and away.

Your vastness intimidates me, though it is said to be calming.
I see that you are tranquil but I also know of your destruction.

I am ashamed to sit before you with the storm raging in my heart,
afraid that our Lord may choose to cleanse me off this Earth through you.

I seek false shelter amongst walls that isolate me.
I feel I do not deserve your company for I am so ignorant, so disconnected.
You are so open, gentle and majestic.
I know nothing and am overwhelmed by your knowledge.
I am nothing and am ashamed before you, impressed by your sanctity.

Your obedience is absolute.
You are tamed.

My heart is raging, wild.
My mind is split and confused.

They say to meditate the sea is worship.

I can hardly look at you;
you are too beautiful, sublime.

You host many nations, both in your bosom and on your surface.
You witness the harmony of nature and its cycles alongside the injustices and violence of men.
You are ever so patient, for mankind has wreaked havoc on you yet you still grant us the pleasure of witnessing so many sunrises and sunsets by your side, in peace.
You still remind us of beauty when all we offer if oppression.

Oh, why shouldn't we be ashamed?
How can I bring myself to touch you at your shores?
Am I not mocking your sanctity for mere minutes of play?
How can I watch such child's play when I need to tame my own storms and the violence in my heart?
How can I come to you in my current state, as filthy as I am?

Instead, I lock myself at home to think.
I stay amongst solid, city walls, walls of delusion, forgetting that perhaps the wisdom in gazing at you is to teach me how you are and how I ought to be.

How your gentle waves change the world silently and your storms and strength protect and defend valiantly.
How you never stop moving and how, perhaps, we don't move enough.
We don't consistently work towards our dreams.
We lose hope, we despair, we get distracted and we procrastinate.
You, you gracefully continue fulfilling your purpose all day and all night.
You teach us to press on.

You teach us to trust,
for if you can exist in harmony despite your immense scale the diverse nations you accommodate,
so can we.
If only we trust as you trust.

You teach us to not be afraid.
To not be afraid to show our passion and inner fire,
but to be graceful nonetheless-
to never be repulsive and repugnant.

You teach us to stay pure,
by cleansing ourselves of the filth we are burdened with regularly-
to be pure enough to be of those who sanctify our path and not tarnish it.

Perhaps when I am more like you I will come and sit by your side. But until then, I will gaze at photos and videos, building up the character and courage you deserve in a companion, and keep remembering you amongst these city walls.

With love,

your small-town admirer

Salt & Nejma (2013/ 2014)

I discovered a poet through Instagram, Nayyirah Waheed. I saw one of her sale promotions a few weeks or so ago and immediately downloaded both works onto my Kindle to read as soon as I'd finished Moby Dick. My literature of preference is generally novels and novellas and I often feel daunted by poetry and require a lot more meditation and mental and spiritual preparation before I can start reading it. Spoken word poetry has its own charm and impact but honestly I prefer reading words on a page in seclusion to connect more with the words. Waheed has published two works, nejma and salt. I'm just going to share a few thoughts on both works since a full analysis would be extremely long and turn into a dissertation of some sort.

I began by reading nejma, the shorter of the two collections. Initially the style confused me and it took me a few pages to "get into it" and start understanding what was being said. I read it through slowly and pausing occasionally after which I felt like I had gone on a short journey with Waheed and  some of my own personal experiences. I then went on to read salt, which was easier and was definitely clearer though the style was similar but I had gotten used to it. The style is intentionally broken as explained in salt, 'my english is broken./ on purpose./ you/ have to try harder to understand/ me.'. Once I'd finished salt, I decided to re-read nejma especially the beginning, to grasp it better.

Both collections are filled with pain and remorse but explore hope and pride in ethnic origins. A major subject, no doubt, is race and experiences of people of colour in Western "white" societies and living under white power. Waheed shares personal stories as well as more generalised experiences from extremes, those who consider black a taboo and inferior to those that exoticise and fetishise  ethnicity so as to also undermine its richness.

Waheed uses salt to combine tears and metaphors of the ocean and sea, but of course another connotation is that of salt on a wound, the wound of colonisation, the wounds of inferiority and neglect. The sensation of being in pain is transmitted well through the broken/ abrupt style but the metaphors and anecdotes also impart this pain. Waheed breaks up the pain with elements of healing, giving hope, confidence, guidance in the journey of emancipation knowing that even the process of healing may well be painful but is vital for growth. I personally felt a sensation of wood burning or a form of heat while reading about many of the range of difficulties highlighted.

An issue I've hardly come across before was that of the disconnection from Africa for African Americans in particular, but in some ways in many of second or third generation immigrants. She describes the shame in looking back to Africa and shame of not knowing it well enough, not feeling like you can call it home. This rang true for me because, while I'm not an African American, despite knowing that my family history in Africa and India is in my blood, my skin and my culture, I know that I'll feel no more than a tourist in all of these places.

Another personally pertinent issue was that of 'brown babies' being taught predominantly about Caucasian heroes and writers but not really being able to relate and also feeling that Black people's work is not equal to that of White counterparts and only given small doses of it. This is true in not only the American system but also the British system, having studied English Literature up to degree level. I wouldn't want to undermine all literature produced by Caucasian writers because there is definitely a lot to learn from many of the works but English literature from people of colour is few and far between. And when it is present it is analysed like a key into a new world, which in some ways it is, but sometimes one would think there's a sort of "what have these newly civilised people have to say?' intrigue. For centuries many writers  have travelled to the East or come into contact with Eastern cultures through literature, people, trade etc. and have found inspiration and even whole stories from these cultures but hardly or never give much credit to them, since the Western version must be superior and the only one worth talking about. Having said that, the works of oppressed people of any race ought to be valued because they'll always show you a truth the privileged can never describe.

nejma, meaning star in Arabic but also a girl's name, is the 'daughter' Waheed gives birth to and thus raises through her poetry. Through this collection we learn about difficult childhoods and ways to overcome them or even avoid them, learning to be confident and independent. She also uses this collection to speak about history, for example Mandela and his contributions, the symbol he is and was and his legacy, since any well-rounded education will teach you about where you come from and inspire you to be a better person.

Since I can't speak about all of the themes raised in the collections, I'll give you a list of a few so you can see if it peaks your interest. Waheed discusses issues relating to single-parent childhood, womanhood, belief, independence and self expression, colonisation (theft of resources and people) and decolonisation, growing up being self conscious, love, trust, writing poetry, identity, beauty, kindness, abuse, media portrayal, sincerity, finding and feeling at home.

Waheed encourages people of colour to love themselves through her work but there is a lot of pain and resentment in these collections, referring to all that we need to deal with in our personal and social psychologies. Waheed uses metaphors of nature generously but carefully to bring you back to universal origins and goodness, bringing you back to the earth from which we come. I'm glad I could share some of these moments with Waheed's words, knowing that they are a profound part of her.

Moby Dick: or the White Whale (1851)

I finally finished reading Moby Dick: or, the White Whale. I have to say it was difficult for me to read and I literally got to the end by reading one percent at a time. However, I do not regret having read it. I believe part of the reason why I found it difficult to read was because the style of the genre was not quite what I was expecting- as I thought it was going to be a fictional novel just telling a story about a whale- and because the technical sailing descriptions sort of wore on me quite easily. I'll just get right into my brief review and personal thoughts; bear in mind that before I read the novel all I knew was that it was a famous classic about a whale called Moby Dick- no more.

One of the main thematic elements that struck me in the novel was colonialism. Now it's a rather broad subject and there were of course many themes branching off of it such as racism, white superiority, living in diversity and the like. I found that despite the date of the novel's publication it sounded so contemporary when the narrator, Ishmael, spoke about different cultures, peoples, nations ranging from the Dutch, French and English to the Turks and their pilgrimages to Mecca, the Japanese and of course some African tribes. He seemed to be well informed about different cultural and religious practises, such as a small detail like the Muslim call to prayer. I find this significant because of the date and because how many present-day people in the West still seem to feign ignorance about these cultures and how living amongst them is still a new experience and learning process, when in fact history and literature shows us that it's been a good few hundred years or more that we've been exposed to each other and already know a lot about each other if we only just learned to value that knowledge. Moby Dick does indicate an idea of friendship between races but the novel does give a sense that the white race still maintains superiority.

What I wasn't expecting from the novel was a research-based and academic style in describing whales as a species. Without a doubt it was a valuable part of the book in which there is much to learn but it does deviate from a "story-telling style" and attempts to be quite factual. Ishmael, describes the history of whaling, different species of whales, the anatomy of sperm whales including the head/ skull, its inner mouth, the eyes, the "water" spout, the tail, and the skeleton especially the ribs and the vertebrae. We also learn much about the purpose of whaling: seeking the precious sperm oil, and an even rarer treasure, ambergris, as well as how whale herds travel and their groupings.  

The novel describes how a whale ship is run and explores the different tasks and responsibilities as well as the charm and courage of being part of such a team. The reader is allowed a sneak peak into moments of danger and toil without risking as much as the sailors do as well as being able to compare whaling ships to merchant ships. It also describes the nature of hunting and the technical, strategic and national developments. While the novel briefly discusses the question of sustainability of this industry and the extinction of whales, it doesn't necessarily discuss the justice of such an industry existing in the first place.

The legend and mystery of Moby Dick is of course what drives the plot and I felt that there was more suspense than actual "contact" with the whale himself. And while I can imagine it would have been difficult to get to know the whale in any more detail without turning him into a caricature, I still read the book longing to read more about him. The plot of Captain Ahab seeking his revenge with Moby Dick was, for me, the stubbornness of human pride and ego facing a power greater than it and not being able to let it go in humility but instead seeking one's own destruction as well as being blinded enough to sacrifice others in the passion. In this case it was the human not being able to dominate over one animal in a species which it feels it has the right to hunt and thus should be subjugated to him. For me, Moby Dick represents the power that humans will never be able to dominate over in any field and it is a reminder to recognise one's place before losing everything in greed and pride, as the frequent Biblical references indicate.

Overall I felt Moby Dick raises important issues related to hunting and our human responsibility towards nature and animals as well as our treatment of fellow human beings. It delves into the necessary mental and physical stamina needed for sea voyages and some of the many risks sailors face, from madness to loss of life. A must read for anyone who loves whales, sea creatures, wants to know more about the history of whaling or even read about early multicultural living.

Momentum

I have some good news and some bad news. I always like to start with the bad news so that I can end on a more positive note, and it may help me solve anything from the bad news (if anything is needed to be solved anyway).

The bad news is that I didn't last with the dairy-free challenge. I experienced a glitch just before marking two weeks when I went out with a friend for tea and treats. She felt like having a crepe and I ordered one with her, and it was only when the crepes were already being made that I remembered that they have milk in them. I ate it anyway but it was a shame because I'd literally just eaten my lactose-free apple tart and felt all guilt-free. After coming home and confessing the "crime" to my husband, I continued sincerely on with my journey of being dairy-free for another day or so. But we held our housewarming party on Thursday and we ordered pizzas. Now I do love pizza but I thought I would just eat some of the other foods on the menu. In the end, we had far too much food, even after giving lots of it away, and so I had to take a few days off to be able to eat some of the food before it went off. Of course some of it we've frozen and I'm still getting through some of the muffins (which also have milk in them). I noticed that towards the end of my two week mark, I had a lot less phlegm and it was mainly clear. As soon as I've started consuming dairy again, the phlegm has come back and is quite thick and is definitely not clear at all. I'm hoping to recommence the dairy-free life soon.

Now time for the good news! I have started German classes (finally)!! I have class thrice a week in the mornings for three hours. I actually like it because it's stimulating my mind and I get to speak to more people. Other than that, it gets me out of bed in the morning, which is rather painful but for my own good. Also, while organising and preparing our housewarming party, I had a few early starts and late nights and had lots of errands to run at the same time. I realised how much I was capable of doing in a day and with my time in general- since I've been a bit of a sloth recently- and it kept me active and has helped my neck get better. This has meant that I have a new sense of motivation and desire to do things. I know it sounds silly but it's quite easy to watch people all around you do lots of things and then neglect yourself and fall into bad habits and just being absent from active life. It can also be quite depressing because you look at yourself and haven't got much to say when people ask "so what are you doing?" because grocery shopping and making dinner don't quite cut it. Anyway, I have dinner yet to make and some reading pending (yes, Moby Dick) as well as some drawing so let's see how much I can do today!

Would you like milk with that?

It's been a week that I've been dairy free. My reason for going dairy free is because I had an annoying amount of phlegm (sorry for being so precise) and I felt I ought to detox my body because often dairy is the culprit. I also find that when I fast for the whole month of Ramadan it often goes away, since that's also a detox, but I thought I would go half way.

Also, I can't deny that I've been somewhat influenced by some of the vegans I'm following on Instagram. I respect and understand why vegans have chosen such a lifestyle and I am myself quite a veggie-friendly person anyway but I have to say that I do love milk, cream, butter and cheese- basically fatty foods. Giving up meat wouldn't really be very difficult for me, but dairy would probably be the main challenge for me. 

Anywho, as mentioned above, I do love dairy- and we've switched to organic milk now but detoxing is my motive here. One week in (for my intended month) and I do have to say that yesterday I still had some phlegm. But I feel like my tongue is pinker, which I take as a good sign. I have been feeling a little more fatigued during the day and so I have taken my iron tablets to boost me- since now I should have good absorption levels without any dairy consumption. 

I bought some almond milk as a substitute, because I need some milk in my tea and I was wary of how soya milk is processed. I bought both sweetened and unsweetened and have only yet opened the unsweetened. I can say that I understand now why there is a sweetened version. It's quite different, having a slightly grainy texture and the taste takes getting used to I suppose. I used a little bit in some ginger tea, which made it look as if the milk had split but it was still ok, and two tablespoons in a cake that required milk. This morning I made myself a banana milkshake, with a ripe banana, almond milk, a bit of vanilla and 1.5 teaspoons of sugar. I have to say I am looking forward to finishing this milk and then maybe buying an organic soya milk instead- or even rice milk...

This morning I had a glass of warm water with freshly-squeezed lemon juice, apple cider vinegar and honey which was quite a shock to my tastebuds at 7am but hopefully that will also help cleanse the system. 

I hope to add more about my progress on this short journey.  

Reading progress

I really would have liked this post to be a quick review of Moby Dick, but unfortunately I haven't yet finished it. The reading has been taking me a lot longer than I could have anticipated and it's true that I haven't necessarily been reading it every day but I have now made the intention to try to. For some reason or another, I keep falling asleep after two or three pages and so I'm not progressing as quickly as I would have liked. This post is to celebrate reaching 25%! I fear that it's because it's American and I have noticed that I'm less inclined to American literature. It's strange because it's not even a boring novel, and the last two Russian novels were extremely more bleak and depressing but I was much more captivated by them. Anyway, I hope to join you soon with a few thoughts on the novel once I've reached the end, whenever that is. I have plenty more on my list and I'm almost tempted to read another book alongside this one- but that wouldn't be a good idea because I know how much I'll neglect it otherwise.

Crime and Punishment (1866)

I unexpectedly finished Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment yesterday evening and so I thought I'd quickly post about it before I forget about it or just put it off forever. It was another Kindle edition translated by Constance Garnett, published by Xist Publishing, California.

So Anna Karenina and Crime and Punishment are sort of my first experiences of Russian literature and in their own way they are quite bleak but obviously exploring important social issues. I was somewhat glad that Dostoyevsky more or less jumped into the crime without much delay. I took a week or so off reading this novel in between because I was busy and because of or, perhaps, in spite of that, I found the novel to seem rather repetitive and long in the interval period of the crime taking place and main character's decision of what he will do with himself and his life now that the crime had been committed. This obviously is done on purpose to reflect the long, unending suffering and confusion of the character.

An important and central idea in the novel is that the crime itself is the punishment for the criminal, one that Raskolnikov touches upon in his article by suggesting that after a crime, often the criminal will fall ill, have a fever or experience some sort of delirium. The guilt of the crime and perhaps even paranoia can lead to mental, spiritual and physical illnesses. This same idea is expressed in Hamza Yusuf's commentary of his translation in Purification of the Heart. It is synonymous with Islamic spirituality that the spiritual heart can suffer from diseases, which are manifest in negative and sinful behaviour and certain behaviour can remedy or increase diseases too. Dostoyevsky explores guilt rather through psychology and redemption through confession, religion, as well as suffering.

While on the point of psychology, I found that the novel looks at the madness of living with sin or a crime that is caused by cognitive dissonance. The mental effects on a person are so strong that an option to find comfort somewhere is to find it in religion, as Sonia does.

Another central idea behind the crime itself was the idea of there being a small, elite group of people who are criminals of their time, because they transgress the limits of the society or context they're in, but in the next generation they are considered heroes. Dostoyevsky uses the examples of Napoleon and Muhammad (pbuh) in his novel. Arguably we could see the late Nelson Mandala in the same light, how he was imprisoned for 27 years and now he is a hero to the world. This brings up issues on Absolute Truth, and Absolute right and wrong versus the concepts we live with today of everything being relative, and therefore truth is always relative and consequently laws will always only be relative. Absolute Truth means that certain things will remain true regardless of the place, time or location and while many things may be relative and dependent on the context and situation, there will always be constant undying, unchanging truths that underpin laws and society. For example, intentionally killing an innocent person is and always will be wrong. This is an example of something someone could take as an absolute truth. Now the relative, situational aspects come in when the killing is unintentional (manslaughter) or justified through the person being guilty of a serious crime (i.e. murder)- with the latter example only being allowed through the state laws and after having gone through valid legal proceedings etc. The same applies to virtue too, for example racism in all forms is unjust and unacceptable, if we consider this an Absolute Truth, then people who defend this in contexts where this is not the case, will be seen as criminals until the world sees it is superior to the relative perception used by a certain government for example.

Dostoyevsky also explores crime as a choice, one that may be selected due to desperation or even frustration. We see this in the character Sonia who chooses to commit crime to feed her family, while Raskolnikov is rather frustrated with himself and commits the crime to try to prove something to himself. Both chose the crime and suffer according to their reason for it.

We also see how committing a crime is not necessarily only a punishment for the criminal but also those who are close to him or her, through a sense of betrayal they are punished as well as a double punishment for the criminal himself or herself.

Overall, I found it a worthwhile read with important themes of justice, power, poverty and virtue.

Anna Karenina (1877)

I've decided that I need to seriously start reading again and get through more classics. I loved reading at university and sometimes the time restraint made me feel like I couldn't enjoy a book and I was just reading it like a machine. So I've taken it upon myself to pick up from where I left off. I hope to be able to add some thoughts about my reading along the way to get some ideas out there, even if it's stating the obvious in some cases.

I've recently finished reading Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. No doubt it's a well-written piece; it's not a classic for no reason.

Firstly, I've read the HarperPerennial Classics kindle edition and I can't seem to find out who translated it unfortunately.

Right from the get go, the novel plunged into a domestic crisis, which consequently introduced some of the key characters. Some of the key themes include infidelity, loyalty, love, romance, family, religion, politics, war, importance of character, Russian agriculture versus European agriculture as well as social class structures and more.

For me, being someone who often has a tendency to go on about women's rights and the rest of it, it really made me ask some questions not only to myself but generally, since I may well answer certain questions with my own worldview in mind, but would not necessarily be getting genuine answers from "the everyday person" who doesn't share my worldview or beliefs.

Some points that I felt were raised:

- Is a woman's infidelity of greater consequence and gravity than a man's infidelity?
- Is infidelity pardonable?
- Does forgiveness for infidelity often lie in whether there are children or not?
- How does society punish infidelity? Is it punished equally between sexes?
- Why is it considered more of a taboo for a wife to leave her husband after he has cheated than the husband to leave the wife? Is this even the case?
- Is it a woman's beauty that leads to this corruption in society?
- Is compassion and mercy expected more from women because of the gendered attribute?

The novel is beautifully crafted in that it describes the mental processes of core characters so well, putting it against a backdrop of how they are perceived in society and consequently making the reader judge them through the hypocrisies, inconsistencies and consistencies, as well as their reactions to uncomfortable situations. The development of Russia as a state is no doubt always present and it's equally interested in life in the country and in tune with nature as that of life in the city full of corruption. The search for truth is present largely through the character of Levin and the debate of religion versus reason is one of his great inner struggles.

Having just watched the 2012 film adaptation a couple of days ago to celebrate having wifi and having finished the novel, I felt the detail dedicated to Levin's search and struggles was unfortunately not as close to the novel itself but there were indications of it and ultimately film has its own restrictions as a medium of art, and thus I feel that it wasn't a bad adaptation. It kept quite closely to the storyline, omitting parts due to time and perhaps other factors in film production. I wasn't quite happy with the actor chosen for Vronsky but that's just a matter of personal preference and imagination.

I'm currently reading Crime and Punishment and I'm looking forward to blogging about that one soon!