You Are What You Eat

Having been married about 7 months now I've settled down somewhat into a new lifestyle, having had to make some changes and discoveries. While I'm still on that adventure of discovering new places, things and people here I'm quite comfortable and have got into a routine and have something of a regular structure, something essential to me.

For the time being I have been essentially a housewife. Funnily enough I've found that now that I'm sort of "managing the household" and take care of meals (at least on weekdays) and groceries, there is a huge online culture of sharing recipes and household tips (usually but not exclusively by women). The blogs and articles are endless and in the hope to feed children and the entire family wholesome meals, I've come across so many passionate people who are either fighting against processed foods, going organic, turning vegan, living grain-free, consuming organic cold-pressed coconut oil and a whole other array of dietary choices. It's good to know that there are people who are conscious about what they're eating, since often we see that it's not really the case in most families. It is important and no doubt the repercussions of what we eat can be life-changing.

On the other hand it is quite demanding to live in accordance to certain chosen lifestyles. Because Munich has such a wide selection of organic produce, often relatively cheap, we are starting to buy more organic foods but I do realise that many of these options, while they are well-intentioned, often come from a middle class who can afford to spend on certain luxuries (organic-only foods, vegan-only). It's definitely not easy to always find certain things with these restrictions in mind so it's tough for both parties I guess but it's often the people with less in their pockets who have to continue eating the genetically modified processed foods because I know that back in the UK I would rarely, never or accidentally purchase organic produce because it would be so much dearer for "the same thing"; I could get it for half the price.

While Germany has definitely put a lot of organic produce at affordable prices, having such a prominent organic agricultural industry, I feel that many countries are very much behind in this matter, despite the desperate voices screaming out for more support.

Tu viens d'où?

A few days ago I attended my friend's nikkah, Islamic wedding ceremony in the UK. I know this friend from university and, naturally, at the reception venue I was seated on a table with some of her other friends from her hometown. While these friends had so many things in common, sharing the same mutual friend, Muslims, similar ages, all female, parental origins in the Indian subcontinent being just some of them, a significant difference between them was whether they were Pakistani or Gujarati.

I noticed the night before that oftentimes there were also condescending references amongst the Gujaratis towards another caste of Gujuratis who also live in the same town. Now while all the friends got along well together and equally participated in the festivities there came a point where one of the girls asked me whether I was Pakistani or Gujarati. Referring to an earlier joke I replied that "I'm an alien". Not quite understanding what I meant I realised she required an explanation and so I proceeded to explain how I do not identify as either Gujurati or Pakistani since my family history is slightly more complicated, originating in the Indian subcontinent as my peers but with a migration to Africa affecting the culture for at least one generation of my family, on both sides. Still quite confused the same friend then decided to ask more about my husband's origins, to perhaps better understand our future children's potential ethnic identity, and so I went on to explain how he has a mixed ethnicity, French with an Indian influence from a grandparent with a Creole culture. Trying the failsafe method she inquired about my surname, which I told her (a rather common Muslim Asian surname) and then I told her my husband's surname upon request. She had never heard of it before and curiously wanted to know where that also came from. I said, "oh! Apparently that's Jewish!" Utterly shocked and in despair she gave up her attempt to find a simple one-word category to place us in.

I found it all rather amusing and by the end the other girls on the table were also laughing away. Often out of Britain I cannot even get away with saying British since I am not white, but Kenya, Uganda and India would instantly consider me a tourist. There's no doubt that your culture, ethnicity and nationality colour your experiences and perspectives of the world but we are in an ever-increasing world of hybrid cultures and mixed nationalities and ethnicities where it is not always possible to categorise someone's entire identity in one word since we have so many more influences in our lives. Despite this, I have heard of and seen some families try to encourage some sort of elitist protection of their family's caste and race to the extent that they "prohibit" their child from marrying outside of a certain, very-closed, circle where the wellbeing of the child is usually not on the agenda at all.

And sadly, we quietly let these things continue in our communities.

Searching for the next step

In what feels like an extended transitory period in my life I find myself happy with so much but bewildered and uncertain about so much more. The rather exceptional change in my life of my union with the man I love and moving countries for an indefinite time has somewhat upturned my life. In so many ways it has improved and I've been multiple times happier than ever before, but recently the trips back home seem to be taking their toll on me.

Naturally everyone I've known also has moved on in life and in various ways, but I seem to be far from even an observer in the matter, as distance doesn't always necessarily make the heart fonder. We're in a busy cycle of never-ending commitments and if you leave the circle, often it's hard to just pop back in intermittently. I've got to either completely let go, or just find another occupation that will aid the transition.

I know that what I have is so precious and beautiful. I know that many would be, and may well be, jealous of my life for it's current ease, but it's also extremely frightening. It's scary trying to make those big steps into a new life that's fulfilling. It's difficult because now I am no longer in a structured academic institution guiding the options available to me, it's liberating and quite nerve-wracking all at once.