Although this post doesn't fit in the chronology of the wedding and arriving in Munich, I felt that I'd write it up anyway.
I've been in Munich for quite some weeks now. I'm sort of getting into a routine but not quite started my work that I had planned- sorting out my laptop seems to be a more demanding task than I thought. But I'll get there eventually...
My German is improving- meaning that I'm learning to recognise some written words- despite me not properly starting my German course. Yesterday my husband and I went to the laundrette to do the laundry and a (rather tall) man tried to help me with the dryer, in German of course, and I couldn't really grasp what he was trying to say but he eventually just smiled and let me carry on guessing which buttons to press until my husband came and confirmed I was on the right track.
I've also been exploring so many different supermarkets, finding the cheapest offers on this, looking for the best quality of that and so on and so forth. Consequently, I popped into our local Aldi, one because I know the prices there are reasonable for everyday things and two, because it's familiar to home. Of course Aldi is German but they've branched out across Europe and the UK is a happy host to the family supermarket. Familiarity often just feels better sometimes and while I was on my solo adventure, I got caught up in a small but typical conflict of trolly politesse. I was in a corner of the shop and as I was going to advance forward, I saw a man approaching on my left who would turn into the aisle I was in. I decided to let the man pass ahead of me just so that I didn't feel like I had someone waiting behind me as I was wandering through slowly. He kindly smiled and (I presume) told me to go ahead because he was going to stop on that corner to look at something. He then continued speaking to me jokingly and all I could do was smile and nod while slowly walking away a little sad that I couldn't really understand his banter and any casual conversation for that matter.
It took me back to when I was a young adolescent. I loved reading novels that had an ethnic flavour: books about immigration and being displaced, taken from your home and other novels about struggles in new environments. Sometimes they were about war and just moving towns, cities and villages like A Thousand Splendid Suns and A Long Way Gone, and at other times they were about international migration. Being in Germany sort of reminds me of the novel Brick Lane, despite me not living in an area populated with lots of immigrants, I feel slightly confined to these walls (by nature) and my going out doesn't "contribute" because I'm oblivious to much of the language and so I leave the flat in a bubble and I have limited access to information. Thankfully I'm literate in English and French and so I can recognise the numbers, the letters and my "European-ness" clearly makes the products familiar, but nonetheless this immigration still requires that adjustment, learning and experience of challenges like any other. Fortunately I have God and my husband here to support me through it and the internet...
Tuesday 28 October 2014
Wednesday 15 October 2014
Wedding Preparations
Many moments and lessons of our lives make us who we are. Naturally we're affected by the people around us and the various situations we face but those very same scenarios can have various influences on different people. In a family of three or four children where the lives are so closely intertwined and the experiences in the house, and arguably also at school, are very similar, each child reacts differently to changes or even the daily routine. A memory that one child keeps close to his/ her heart is probably forgotten by another and maybe parents sometimes even forget that some part of this daily life is part of a childhood memory.
I don't feel like this process really ever stops because now looking back on all of the preparations for my wedding I was both a silent spectator as well as an active participant and yet I feel like there are many moments and lessons that have stuck to my heart since. I feel like I learnt so much and I went through both the experiences of rosy innocence and harsh reality in a relatively short space of time.
Organising a wedding has fun and pretty elements but realistically several people (including their tastes, ideas, traditions and sentiments) are involved and so there is bound to be some conflict. The bride (and hopefully the groom) usually have a vague idea of what they hope for on the day of their wedding ceremony in terms of ambience, loved ones, gifts and more but this dream sometimes becomes difficult to attain when other restrictions come into play such as the budget, venue, timings etc. I think I knew these things would be an issue and so I tried to simplify the occasion much more than what was socially acceptable.
Never has it been an easy task trying to please everyone and ultimately it's impossible on most occasions so a wedding is no exception. I became so fed up with all the criticisms and unwanted advice and unnecessary stress that two weeks before my wedding I began announcing to my friends and relatives that they should consider just running away and getting married (scheduling arrangements for parents and perhaps siblings) and be done with it. Take photos, enjoy the day, and do what you like. "You're going to get earache either way but at least one of the weddings was what you actually wanted and you can be happy and relaxed". Having to deal with family and friends' politics prior to a wedding might not be something all brides have to face, but no doubt there is someone in the family who is facing it for them and it's a period where I felt that all family dynamics (including the extended family) were amplified so as to show me what I never saw throughout my childhood and adolescence, and sometimes confirming my existing knowledge. Sometimes it added sweetness to my memories while at other times it created a bitterness and disgust that will affect my future judgements.
I learnt the importance of teamwork and having someone who was trustworthy and understanding to run the show because too leaders never was a recipe for success, nor is not having the manpower to deal with a 200-person event. Things ran rather smoothly once we had a team of people to just get lots of jobs done together, listening and willingly. Some of the harder tasks were the smaller but important ones that we were trying to done with only 3 or 4 people available.
I think I've come to the end of that reflection but I'm sure the memories and new insights will continue to dawn on me for some time.
I don't feel like this process really ever stops because now looking back on all of the preparations for my wedding I was both a silent spectator as well as an active participant and yet I feel like there are many moments and lessons that have stuck to my heart since. I feel like I learnt so much and I went through both the experiences of rosy innocence and harsh reality in a relatively short space of time.
Organising a wedding has fun and pretty elements but realistically several people (including their tastes, ideas, traditions and sentiments) are involved and so there is bound to be some conflict. The bride (and hopefully the groom) usually have a vague idea of what they hope for on the day of their wedding ceremony in terms of ambience, loved ones, gifts and more but this dream sometimes becomes difficult to attain when other restrictions come into play such as the budget, venue, timings etc. I think I knew these things would be an issue and so I tried to simplify the occasion much more than what was socially acceptable.
Never has it been an easy task trying to please everyone and ultimately it's impossible on most occasions so a wedding is no exception. I became so fed up with all the criticisms and unwanted advice and unnecessary stress that two weeks before my wedding I began announcing to my friends and relatives that they should consider just running away and getting married (scheduling arrangements for parents and perhaps siblings) and be done with it. Take photos, enjoy the day, and do what you like. "You're going to get earache either way but at least one of the weddings was what you actually wanted and you can be happy and relaxed". Having to deal with family and friends' politics prior to a wedding might not be something all brides have to face, but no doubt there is someone in the family who is facing it for them and it's a period where I felt that all family dynamics (including the extended family) were amplified so as to show me what I never saw throughout my childhood and adolescence, and sometimes confirming my existing knowledge. Sometimes it added sweetness to my memories while at other times it created a bitterness and disgust that will affect my future judgements.
I learnt the importance of teamwork and having someone who was trustworthy and understanding to run the show because too leaders never was a recipe for success, nor is not having the manpower to deal with a 200-person event. Things ran rather smoothly once we had a team of people to just get lots of jobs done together, listening and willingly. Some of the harder tasks were the smaller but important ones that we were trying to done with only 3 or 4 people available.
I think I've come to the end of that reflection but I'm sure the memories and new insights will continue to dawn on me for some time.
Thursday 9 October 2014
Graduation
It's been a long time since the last post, but not as long as I had thought. Time has flown since Lent and giving up naps and life has moved drastically forward since. Because I typically have a lot of things to say (mainly because so much has happened), I've been wise enough to scribble some of my thoughts down and I hope to break down the journey into several posts.
So a brief update on where I currently stand in life: I've graduated with a Bachelors of Arts degree in English and French. I'm married. And I now live in Munich, Germany.
Lots of big steps in only a few months and now I've got a moment to just pause and relax after all the chaos and pressure. It makes it feel surreal but at least I can look back on it with a slightly clearer mind and being less emotionally charged.
To start things from where we left off, my final year did end up pushing me academically while giving me quite a lot of control over my own work, decisions and exploration- but of course restricting me as far as my tutors' grading boundaries. I learnt a lot about myself and developed my areas of interest as well as making new friends along the way.
The graduation ceremony itself was pleasant, and the weather was nice and warm. I fell quite ill during the day and so couldn't meet as many people as I would have liked, so it was a bit of a shame not to have said congratulations and goodbye to my fellow peers and especially the members of staff. However it was an overall nice day for the family, although it took a while for me to get hold of a nice picture...
I already miss being at university but I guess everyone does. The freedom and responsibility alongside the chance to study and explore what you are passionate about, with people who also respect the field and passion, is comforting. But hey ho! I've now graduated with a qualification that says that I can pursue much more beyond this, whether it's in academia or in a career.
Forgive the cliché but it isn't the end, just a new beginning. A beginning that went head first into wedding preparations.
So a brief update on where I currently stand in life: I've graduated with a Bachelors of Arts degree in English and French. I'm married. And I now live in Munich, Germany.
Lots of big steps in only a few months and now I've got a moment to just pause and relax after all the chaos and pressure. It makes it feel surreal but at least I can look back on it with a slightly clearer mind and being less emotionally charged.
To start things from where we left off, my final year did end up pushing me academically while giving me quite a lot of control over my own work, decisions and exploration- but of course restricting me as far as my tutors' grading boundaries. I learnt a lot about myself and developed my areas of interest as well as making new friends along the way.
The graduation ceremony itself was pleasant, and the weather was nice and warm. I fell quite ill during the day and so couldn't meet as many people as I would have liked, so it was a bit of a shame not to have said congratulations and goodbye to my fellow peers and especially the members of staff. However it was an overall nice day for the family, although it took a while for me to get hold of a nice picture...
I already miss being at university but I guess everyone does. The freedom and responsibility alongside the chance to study and explore what you are passionate about, with people who also respect the field and passion, is comforting. But hey ho! I've now graduated with a qualification that says that I can pursue much more beyond this, whether it's in academia or in a career.
Forgive the cliché but it isn't the end, just a new beginning. A beginning that went head first into wedding preparations.
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