Wedding Preparations

Many moments and lessons of our lives make us who we are. Naturally we're affected by the people around us and the various situations we face but those very same scenarios can have various influences on different people. In a family of three or four children where the lives are so closely intertwined and the experiences in the house, and arguably also at school, are very similar, each child reacts differently to changes or even the daily routine. A memory that one child keeps close to his/ her heart is probably forgotten by another and maybe parents sometimes even forget that some part of this daily life is part of a childhood memory.

I don't feel like this process really ever stops because now looking back on all of the preparations for my wedding I was both a silent spectator as well as an active participant and yet I feel like there are many moments and lessons that have stuck to my heart since. I feel like I learnt so much and I went through both the experiences of rosy innocence and harsh reality in a relatively short space of time.

Organising a wedding has fun and pretty elements but realistically several people (including their tastes, ideas, traditions and sentiments) are involved and so there is bound to be some conflict. The bride (and hopefully the groom) usually have a vague idea of what they hope for on the day of their wedding ceremony in terms of ambience, loved ones, gifts and more but this dream sometimes becomes difficult to attain when other restrictions come into play such as the budget, venue, timings etc. I think I knew these things would be an issue and so I tried to simplify the occasion much more than what was socially acceptable.

Never has it been an easy task trying to please everyone and ultimately it's impossible on most occasions so a wedding is no exception. I became so fed up with all the criticisms and unwanted advice and unnecessary stress that two weeks before my wedding I began announcing to my friends and relatives that they should consider just running away and getting married (scheduling arrangements for parents and perhaps siblings) and be done with it. Take photos, enjoy the day, and do what you like. "You're going to get earache either way but at least one of the weddings was what you actually wanted and you can be happy and relaxed". Having to deal with family and friends' politics prior to a wedding might not be something all brides have to face, but no doubt there is someone in the family who is facing it for them and it's a period where I felt that all family dynamics (including the extended family) were amplified so as to show me what I never saw throughout my childhood and adolescence, and sometimes confirming my existing knowledge. Sometimes it added sweetness to my memories while at other times it created a bitterness and disgust that will affect my future judgements.

I learnt the importance of teamwork and having someone who was trustworthy and understanding to run the show because too leaders never was a recipe for success, nor is not having the manpower to deal with a 200-person event. Things ran rather smoothly once we had a team of people to just get lots of jobs done together, listening and willingly. Some of the harder tasks were the smaller but important ones that we were trying to done with only 3 or 4 people available.

I think I've come to the end of that reflection but I'm sure the memories and new insights will continue to dawn on me for some time.