In what feels like an extended transitory period in my life I find myself happy with so much but bewildered and uncertain about so much more. The rather exceptional change in my life of my union with the man I love and moving countries for an indefinite time has somewhat upturned my life. In so many ways it has improved and I've been multiple times happier than ever before, but recently the trips back home seem to be taking their toll on me.
Naturally everyone I've known also has moved on in life and in various ways, but I seem to be far from even an observer in the matter, as distance doesn't always necessarily make the heart fonder. We're in a busy cycle of never-ending commitments and if you leave the circle, often it's hard to just pop back in intermittently. I've got to either completely let go, or just find another occupation that will aid the transition.
I know that what I have is so precious and beautiful. I know that many would be, and may well be, jealous of my life for it's current ease, but it's also extremely frightening. It's scary trying to make those big steps into a new life that's fulfilling. It's difficult because now I am no longer in a structured academic institution guiding the options available to me, it's liberating and quite nerve-wracking all at once.
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