Having been married about 7 months now I've settled down somewhat into a new lifestyle, having had to make some changes and discoveries. While I'm still on that adventure of discovering new places, things and people here I'm quite comfortable and have got into a routine and have something of a regular structure, something essential to me.
For the time being I have been essentially a housewife. Funnily enough I've found that now that I'm sort of "managing the household" and take care of meals (at least on weekdays) and groceries, there is a huge online culture of sharing recipes and household tips (usually but not exclusively by women). The blogs and articles are endless and in the hope to feed children and the entire family wholesome meals, I've come across so many passionate people who are either fighting against processed foods, going organic, turning vegan, living grain-free, consuming organic cold-pressed coconut oil and a whole other array of dietary choices. It's good to know that there are people who are conscious about what they're eating, since often we see that it's not really the case in most families. It is important and no doubt the repercussions of what we eat can be life-changing.
On the other hand it is quite demanding to live in accordance to certain chosen lifestyles. Because Munich has such a wide selection of organic produce, often relatively cheap, we are starting to buy more organic foods but I do realise that many of these options, while they are well-intentioned, often come from a middle class who can afford to spend on certain luxuries (organic-only foods, vegan-only). It's definitely not easy to always find certain things with these restrictions in mind so it's tough for both parties I guess but it's often the people with less in their pockets who have to continue eating the genetically modified processed foods because I know that back in the UK I would rarely, never or accidentally purchase organic produce because it would be so much dearer for "the same thing"; I could get it for half the price.
While Germany has definitely put a lot of organic produce at affordable prices, having such a prominent organic agricultural industry, I feel that many countries are very much behind in this matter, despite the desperate voices screaming out for more support.
Wednesday, 22 April 2015
Wednesday, 15 April 2015
Tu viens d'où?
A few days ago I attended my friend's nikkah, Islamic wedding ceremony in the UK. I know this friend from university and, naturally, at the reception venue I was seated on a table with some of her other friends from her hometown. While these friends had so many things in common, sharing the same mutual friend, Muslims, similar ages, all female, parental origins in the Indian subcontinent being just some of them, a significant difference between them was whether they were Pakistani or Gujarati.
I noticed the night before that oftentimes there were also condescending references amongst the Gujaratis towards another caste of Gujuratis who also live in the same town. Now while all the friends got along well together and equally participated in the festivities there came a point where one of the girls asked me whether I was Pakistani or Gujarati. Referring to an earlier joke I replied that "I'm an alien". Not quite understanding what I meant I realised she required an explanation and so I proceeded to explain how I do not identify as either Gujurati or Pakistani since my family history is slightly more complicated, originating in the Indian subcontinent as my peers but with a migration to Africa affecting the culture for at least one generation of my family, on both sides. Still quite confused the same friend then decided to ask more about my husband's origins, to perhaps better understand our future children's potential ethnic identity, and so I went on to explain how he has a mixed ethnicity, French with an Indian influence from a grandparent with a Creole culture. Trying the failsafe method she inquired about my surname, which I told her (a rather common Muslim Asian surname) and then I told her my husband's surname upon request. She had never heard of it before and curiously wanted to know where that also came from. I said, "oh! Apparently that's Jewish!" Utterly shocked and in despair she gave up her attempt to find a simple one-word category to place us in.
I found it all rather amusing and by the end the other girls on the table were also laughing away. Often out of Britain I cannot even get away with saying British since I am not white, but Kenya, Uganda and India would instantly consider me a tourist. There's no doubt that your culture, ethnicity and nationality colour your experiences and perspectives of the world but we are in an ever-increasing world of hybrid cultures and mixed nationalities and ethnicities where it is not always possible to categorise someone's entire identity in one word since we have so many more influences in our lives. Despite this, I have heard of and seen some families try to encourage some sort of elitist protection of their family's caste and race to the extent that they "prohibit" their child from marrying outside of a certain, very-closed, circle where the wellbeing of the child is usually not on the agenda at all.
And sadly, we quietly let these things continue in our communities.
I noticed the night before that oftentimes there were also condescending references amongst the Gujaratis towards another caste of Gujuratis who also live in the same town. Now while all the friends got along well together and equally participated in the festivities there came a point where one of the girls asked me whether I was Pakistani or Gujarati. Referring to an earlier joke I replied that "I'm an alien". Not quite understanding what I meant I realised she required an explanation and so I proceeded to explain how I do not identify as either Gujurati or Pakistani since my family history is slightly more complicated, originating in the Indian subcontinent as my peers but with a migration to Africa affecting the culture for at least one generation of my family, on both sides. Still quite confused the same friend then decided to ask more about my husband's origins, to perhaps better understand our future children's potential ethnic identity, and so I went on to explain how he has a mixed ethnicity, French with an Indian influence from a grandparent with a Creole culture. Trying the failsafe method she inquired about my surname, which I told her (a rather common Muslim Asian surname) and then I told her my husband's surname upon request. She had never heard of it before and curiously wanted to know where that also came from. I said, "oh! Apparently that's Jewish!" Utterly shocked and in despair she gave up her attempt to find a simple one-word category to place us in.
I found it all rather amusing and by the end the other girls on the table were also laughing away. Often out of Britain I cannot even get away with saying British since I am not white, but Kenya, Uganda and India would instantly consider me a tourist. There's no doubt that your culture, ethnicity and nationality colour your experiences and perspectives of the world but we are in an ever-increasing world of hybrid cultures and mixed nationalities and ethnicities where it is not always possible to categorise someone's entire identity in one word since we have so many more influences in our lives. Despite this, I have heard of and seen some families try to encourage some sort of elitist protection of their family's caste and race to the extent that they "prohibit" their child from marrying outside of a certain, very-closed, circle where the wellbeing of the child is usually not on the agenda at all.
And sadly, we quietly let these things continue in our communities.
Monday, 13 April 2015
Searching for the next step
In what feels like an extended transitory period in my life I find myself happy with so much but bewildered and uncertain about so much more. The rather exceptional change in my life of my union with the man I love and moving countries for an indefinite time has somewhat upturned my life. In so many ways it has improved and I've been multiple times happier than ever before, but recently the trips back home seem to be taking their toll on me.
Naturally everyone I've known also has moved on in life and in various ways, but I seem to be far from even an observer in the matter, as distance doesn't always necessarily make the heart fonder. We're in a busy cycle of never-ending commitments and if you leave the circle, often it's hard to just pop back in intermittently. I've got to either completely let go, or just find another occupation that will aid the transition.
I know that what I have is so precious and beautiful. I know that many would be, and may well be, jealous of my life for it's current ease, but it's also extremely frightening. It's scary trying to make those big steps into a new life that's fulfilling. It's difficult because now I am no longer in a structured academic institution guiding the options available to me, it's liberating and quite nerve-wracking all at once.
Naturally everyone I've known also has moved on in life and in various ways, but I seem to be far from even an observer in the matter, as distance doesn't always necessarily make the heart fonder. We're in a busy cycle of never-ending commitments and if you leave the circle, often it's hard to just pop back in intermittently. I've got to either completely let go, or just find another occupation that will aid the transition.
I know that what I have is so precious and beautiful. I know that many would be, and may well be, jealous of my life for it's current ease, but it's also extremely frightening. It's scary trying to make those big steps into a new life that's fulfilling. It's difficult because now I am no longer in a structured academic institution guiding the options available to me, it's liberating and quite nerve-wracking all at once.
Monday, 9 March 2015
Living on the continent
Recently I've been travelling around with my husband over the weekends.
The first weekend we visited Austria to try some sledging with a group of Indo-Pak colleagues from his work. Being my first time, and a road trip, I was rather fascinated at how in Europe the borders are so fluid. I wouldn't have noticed we had crossed from Germany to Austria if a girl in our group hadn't announced it. I took my passport with me, of course, but ultimately didn't require it. It was a rather strange sensation.
The following weekend we visited my in-laws in Paris and this time took the train. On the way there, again, I didn't need my passport but there was a random check on the train back to Munich, which my husband said was the first time he'd been asked for his passport in his over one and a half years of making the same trip.
With Europe having such fluid borders, it made me realise how different it is to live in Britain where travelling abroad is really quite an adventure, one that requires much more preparation, thought and a triple-check that you have your passport on you. While our continent-based counterparts usually will have a national ID card as well as their passport, we're dependent on our little red book. Our island life affects our relationship with the continent no doubt: the Euro currency, the Schengen visa system and much more but we have our own little passageways into Scotland and Wales creating a mini-continent.
But having made these trips, despite the painfully long 6-hour trip to Paris, a sense of excitement and freedom sort of awakened, making me realise how much I can explore just being in Europe alone. I don't have the restrictions of those with the limited Schengen visa, since they can't visit the Uk without applying for a separate visa, and I can just access these new places. It's liberating and fascinating, but all travelling requires a little bit of cash and I guess if I do motivate myself out of being a hermit into more of a traveller, there is quite a lot of potential out there for me.
Below are a couple of pictures of our adventures in Austria
And some pictures from Paris:
The first weekend we visited Austria to try some sledging with a group of Indo-Pak colleagues from his work. Being my first time, and a road trip, I was rather fascinated at how in Europe the borders are so fluid. I wouldn't have noticed we had crossed from Germany to Austria if a girl in our group hadn't announced it. I took my passport with me, of course, but ultimately didn't require it. It was a rather strange sensation.
The following weekend we visited my in-laws in Paris and this time took the train. On the way there, again, I didn't need my passport but there was a random check on the train back to Munich, which my husband said was the first time he'd been asked for his passport in his over one and a half years of making the same trip.
With Europe having such fluid borders, it made me realise how different it is to live in Britain where travelling abroad is really quite an adventure, one that requires much more preparation, thought and a triple-check that you have your passport on you. While our continent-based counterparts usually will have a national ID card as well as their passport, we're dependent on our little red book. Our island life affects our relationship with the continent no doubt: the Euro currency, the Schengen visa system and much more but we have our own little passageways into Scotland and Wales creating a mini-continent.
But having made these trips, despite the painfully long 6-hour trip to Paris, a sense of excitement and freedom sort of awakened, making me realise how much I can explore just being in Europe alone. I don't have the restrictions of those with the limited Schengen visa, since they can't visit the Uk without applying for a separate visa, and I can just access these new places. It's liberating and fascinating, but all travelling requires a little bit of cash and I guess if I do motivate myself out of being a hermit into more of a traveller, there is quite a lot of potential out there for me.
Below are a couple of pictures of our adventures in Austria
Our hotel
A short walk from the hotel
A mini waterfall on our walk
Walking back up to the hotel
In the town
View from a bus stop
Heading back to the car
A view of the valley from the mountains taken on our sledging route
Apple
Crumble
A Tunisian couscous
Batch one of raspberry and white chocolate muffins and a chocolate-covered crème de châtaigne cake
Second batch of muffins... after one had been stolen
Friday, 6 February 2015
Grocery Shopping
A couple of days ago I had managed to catch up with a friend from college via WhatsApp. It was nice to share a few moments together and we both discussed our life plans and options. Somehow we touched upon the topic of supermarkets and it made me realise how foreign supermarkets are genuinely quite fascinating places to be in.
Naturally I'm used to the British supermarkets because that's where I've lived for the majority of my life but visiting France gave me somewhat of an insight of how every country doesn't have what you think of as a "staple" food product readily available. I began my little analysis of my supermarket adventures here. I already have a favourite, Aldi by far. There are several reasons for this. One is that it is familiar to me because we also have one in my hometown and we go there often. The second is that the prices are not extortionate and the quality is decent. The third is that the packing area located after the tills is extremely helpful and makes my shopping experience miles better; it complements the European system of "bring your own carrier bags or pay for new ones". For some reason the other supermarkets here, namely Rewe and Tenglemann, since there are others too, don't provide you with a space to pack your bags and if you're anything like me and like to get out of the way for the next customer, you're in a bit of a panic trying to pack your bags with an even distribution of weight, not crush delicates, and not rip a bag with a sharp corner of packaging. It all becomes rather stressful. In Aldi, I can just fling all my shopping into my trolley at the till and then go to the packing area to calmly pack my bags and swap and change things around until I'm satisfied I can carry it all back home with me.
I realise that what I have started doing is looking for things that are particularly British in the supermarkets, with the hope to find some familiarity. I have been fairly successful so far, more so than I think I would have been in France and I have found baked beans, Heinz and the own brand at Rewe, and hash browns, both in Aldi and Rewe. I have recently seen a small tub, but a tub nonetheless, of double cream, and have purchased Cathedral Cheddar cheese. The Germans also have whipping cream, which I don't recall finding in France, and my husband seems to think that the aerosol stuff is the real deal. I'm trying to convince him otherwise... I am hoping to soon find clotted cream and lemon curd and other such items in a shop I have recently discovered exists, British Allsorts. I'm looking forward to going down to explore. One of my first hurdles in the supermarkets was trying to understand the flour system here and find self raising flour, which thankfully the little Chinese shop below the apartment building sells! So I don't have to venture very far to get a hold of any. Also finding a range of Indian spices and foods, like garam masala, asafoetida powder, gulab jamun and paneer has been a source of reassurance while being here.
The happiness and reassurance that familiarity brings is powerful, so much so that I know I feel more at home here than I did in Grenoble, and maybe that's largely to do with what I see in the shops and supermarkets.
Naturally I'm used to the British supermarkets because that's where I've lived for the majority of my life but visiting France gave me somewhat of an insight of how every country doesn't have what you think of as a "staple" food product readily available. I began my little analysis of my supermarket adventures here. I already have a favourite, Aldi by far. There are several reasons for this. One is that it is familiar to me because we also have one in my hometown and we go there often. The second is that the prices are not extortionate and the quality is decent. The third is that the packing area located after the tills is extremely helpful and makes my shopping experience miles better; it complements the European system of "bring your own carrier bags or pay for new ones". For some reason the other supermarkets here, namely Rewe and Tenglemann, since there are others too, don't provide you with a space to pack your bags and if you're anything like me and like to get out of the way for the next customer, you're in a bit of a panic trying to pack your bags with an even distribution of weight, not crush delicates, and not rip a bag with a sharp corner of packaging. It all becomes rather stressful. In Aldi, I can just fling all my shopping into my trolley at the till and then go to the packing area to calmly pack my bags and swap and change things around until I'm satisfied I can carry it all back home with me.
I realise that what I have started doing is looking for things that are particularly British in the supermarkets, with the hope to find some familiarity. I have been fairly successful so far, more so than I think I would have been in France and I have found baked beans, Heinz and the own brand at Rewe, and hash browns, both in Aldi and Rewe. I have recently seen a small tub, but a tub nonetheless, of double cream, and have purchased Cathedral Cheddar cheese. The Germans also have whipping cream, which I don't recall finding in France, and my husband seems to think that the aerosol stuff is the real deal. I'm trying to convince him otherwise... I am hoping to soon find clotted cream and lemon curd and other such items in a shop I have recently discovered exists, British Allsorts. I'm looking forward to going down to explore. One of my first hurdles in the supermarkets was trying to understand the flour system here and find self raising flour, which thankfully the little Chinese shop below the apartment building sells! So I don't have to venture very far to get a hold of any. Also finding a range of Indian spices and foods, like garam masala, asafoetida powder, gulab jamun and paneer has been a source of reassurance while being here.
The happiness and reassurance that familiarity brings is powerful, so much so that I know I feel more at home here than I did in Grenoble, and maybe that's largely to do with what I see in the shops and supermarkets.
Friday, 30 January 2015
Perking up
After suffering from the blues a bit, I perked up in the following few days, motivated to live life again and pressing on with whatever I could do. The sun was shining and I cleaned my flat to help clear my mind a bit before setting back to work, and tried to make the most of my final days alone. I got a lovely, and unexpected call from my mother-in-law to check how I was doing, since I'm in the city alone. It was such a lovely gesture that naturally got me in a panic initially but touched me and made my day.
Then my husband broke the news that he might be staying back another week, which I thought would be a bit difficult for us, since it's the longest we've been apart since we got married. But then I thought, at least I'm in better spirits now and maybe that extra week will just give me more time to do my own things (and create half a mess in the flat for longer). Just last night he told me that he's coming home as planned, which suddenly seems not so far away, and I have a lot to do between then and now. He arrives tomorrow evening!
I have got into crazy online Youtube habits, where I began with watching make-up tutorials just for fun (because my selection of make-up isn't vast enough to cover very many styles) and now baking and cooking clips. It's nice to see the process but sadly I'm far too lazy to be bothered to make it myself, and I really have to be in the mood to motivate myself enough to get something indulgent done in the kitchen that takes more than 15 minutes. But still, I find it quite amazing how these videos of art and skill, both make-up and cooking, are so relaxing and therapeutic. And you always seem to learn a new tip or technique along the way. :)
OK I need to stop procrastinating and actually get on with my day.
Then my husband broke the news that he might be staying back another week, which I thought would be a bit difficult for us, since it's the longest we've been apart since we got married. But then I thought, at least I'm in better spirits now and maybe that extra week will just give me more time to do my own things (and create half a mess in the flat for longer). Just last night he told me that he's coming home as planned, which suddenly seems not so far away, and I have a lot to do between then and now. He arrives tomorrow evening!
I have got into crazy online Youtube habits, where I began with watching make-up tutorials just for fun (because my selection of make-up isn't vast enough to cover very many styles) and now baking and cooking clips. It's nice to see the process but sadly I'm far too lazy to be bothered to make it myself, and I really have to be in the mood to motivate myself enough to get something indulgent done in the kitchen that takes more than 15 minutes. But still, I find it quite amazing how these videos of art and skill, both make-up and cooking, are so relaxing and therapeutic. And you always seem to learn a new tip or technique along the way. :)
OK I need to stop procrastinating and actually get on with my day.
Saturday, 24 January 2015
Being alone and being lonely
After visiting home for a couple of weeks with my hubby (though he had to come back early) I came back to Munich to spend a week with him before he flew off to America for work- for two weeks. Now, me being who I am, I generally don't mind being left alone; I often quite like it. In Grenoble I spent days in my room/ flat without leaving, once even up to 6 and a half days - mainly because I had assignments to do and there was no food shortage so I didn't have reason to go out. Of course Skype and other social media like Whatsapp can be very useful in these moments when people need to contact you and you clearly have no intention of leaving the building (or they're just too far).
However it's been a week since my other half has been gone and while I was quite happy to get on with my own plans and routine for much of the beginning, a couple of days ago I had a sort of emotional crash. I was progressing with a task I had been putting off for months and I thought I was so near completion that when I thought I had finished the majority chunk, I saw that in fact no, I had still quite a lot left. It deflated me and I felt I couldn't possibly finish. To calm down from my panic and just distract myself I went out to the shops for some grocery shopping and then came back to prepare for my English classes.
Friday came and I had my first proper bit of human contact since the last class, since I hadn't really spoken much to anyone since except a few minutes on Skype here and there with a friend or my husband. The conversations were fleeting and of not much importance. I started to re-evaluate my relationship with being alone, because usually I appreciated being alone in contexts where I would still be able to navigate and communicate relatively easily once I went back into "the real world", having had my moment of escape.
Now, while I am pretty used to my environment, the area and the tubes I realise that my outside experience is greatly altered by the simple fact that if someone were to come and speak to me, it would disorient me immensely, especially as I have to shamefacedly just reply with,"English?" A lot of people here do speak English and a German neighbour was surprised that I even considered wanting to learn German since I could function perfectly well without it. But my German learning hasn't really been coming along very well and even to be spontaneously available in any language takes a lot of learning, not just a few weeks of memorising set phrases.
I think of the irony, of seeming like the stereotypical Brit who doesn't bother to learn another language "because everyone else speaks English" or should anyway, when I spent years of my life learning French, only to accidentally land in Germany. I feel ashamed to ask people to speak in English for me but then I hardly have another choice while I'm still just learning odd nouns and phrases in German. I can't go out for a coffee without enduring that shameful scenario.
Moving to France wouldn't solve the problem because while I can speak and understand French, the culture is far less tolerant than in Germany. I feel so much more at home here than I did in France. I feel like people are more open and the supermarkets greatly reflect that, with the range of foods and especially the labelling. In France there's almost no such thing as a 'suitable for vegetarians' sign, whereas our German cousins are extremely tolerant of and accommodate different dietary requirements and choices. I guess you can't have everything...
However it's been a week since my other half has been gone and while I was quite happy to get on with my own plans and routine for much of the beginning, a couple of days ago I had a sort of emotional crash. I was progressing with a task I had been putting off for months and I thought I was so near completion that when I thought I had finished the majority chunk, I saw that in fact no, I had still quite a lot left. It deflated me and I felt I couldn't possibly finish. To calm down from my panic and just distract myself I went out to the shops for some grocery shopping and then came back to prepare for my English classes.
Friday came and I had my first proper bit of human contact since the last class, since I hadn't really spoken much to anyone since except a few minutes on Skype here and there with a friend or my husband. The conversations were fleeting and of not much importance. I started to re-evaluate my relationship with being alone, because usually I appreciated being alone in contexts where I would still be able to navigate and communicate relatively easily once I went back into "the real world", having had my moment of escape.
Now, while I am pretty used to my environment, the area and the tubes I realise that my outside experience is greatly altered by the simple fact that if someone were to come and speak to me, it would disorient me immensely, especially as I have to shamefacedly just reply with,"English?" A lot of people here do speak English and a German neighbour was surprised that I even considered wanting to learn German since I could function perfectly well without it. But my German learning hasn't really been coming along very well and even to be spontaneously available in any language takes a lot of learning, not just a few weeks of memorising set phrases.
I think of the irony, of seeming like the stereotypical Brit who doesn't bother to learn another language "because everyone else speaks English" or should anyway, when I spent years of my life learning French, only to accidentally land in Germany. I feel ashamed to ask people to speak in English for me but then I hardly have another choice while I'm still just learning odd nouns and phrases in German. I can't go out for a coffee without enduring that shameful scenario.
Moving to France wouldn't solve the problem because while I can speak and understand French, the culture is far less tolerant than in Germany. I feel so much more at home here than I did in France. I feel like people are more open and the supermarkets greatly reflect that, with the range of foods and especially the labelling. In France there's almost no such thing as a 'suitable for vegetarians' sign, whereas our German cousins are extremely tolerant of and accommodate different dietary requirements and choices. I guess you can't have everything...
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